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I just didn’t know how to go about it. So I decided to put all relationship thoughts out of my head and just keep on going with work and the occasional outing with my closest friends. Working with kids has always brought me so much joy and going to work is never a hardship, but sometimes you have days when everything all of a sudden seems upside-down, when a group of kids stop functioning together, start hitting each other with toys, throwing food around and thoroughly testing the limits of their teachers’ patience. Sometimes we don’t know the reason behind the change in the group dynamic, but it’s usually because of introducing new children in the group or because of natural development steps as the children grow older. The work week from hell started with us introducing a shy, sad looking boy in our group of five-to-six year olds. Since five and six year old children are naturally curious and full of questions about everything, the shy little boy was absolutely swimming in. I had read that it is easy to create one’s own fantasy person who really doesn’t exist, and then personify them in whomever one is talking to. Whas that what I was doing? I really wasn’t sure. But I was having great fun. Sex was not mentioned although it was certainly in the undercurrents of the conversation. He finally needed to go, and I did not expect to hear again from him. It was fun for an hour and now it was done. I went to bed wondering if this was going to be my life for the next year. Was I going to chat with someone different each night and still never find any friends? What was I doing? I really needed to get a life, and a job, and whatever else would occupy my time. The next morning I checked my email, and he had sent a message thanking me for a great conversation, and inviting me to chat again that night. Wow, I mentioned nothing about sex and he still wanted to chat. That night I was online at the designated time. He was not there, so I put it aside and figured there.
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